“Who can you run to when you are the one that everyone runs to?” – Soul (2015)
When I was in sixth-grade, I was given an award as the “most friendliest kid” in our class. I never thought that label would actually fit me because I’m not really friendly. In fact, I choose the people to whom I’ll talk to. If I don’t like to talk, I’ll ignore you or probably just pretend that I don’t recognize your presence at all.
But most people really intend to share their lives with me as if I was their walking and breathing diary. They said that I’m a good listener and advisor because I’m straightforward whenever they asks me some questions about themselves or the things that they must do in some situations that is really really obvious. For me, listening to them is like watching drama in teleseryes.
The advantage that I gain from them is that I learn life lessons from their experiences and I’m just watching them from afar. So, I’m completely unharmed. To be honest, I love reading books and people as well, which includes their emotions, desires, and feelings.
So, let me get back to myself. It is really hard when everyone depends on you. Sometimes even committing a small mistake really makes a big impact on your personality and how people look at you. How much more if it is scandalous?
Imagine that I am the woman that everyone else looks to for strength, but the hard truth is that I am weak and I don’t have anyone to turn to. It’s really hard to pretend that you’re okay everyday because you don’t want to be a disappointment to them. You carry the burdens of other people, yet your own problems punishes you. What if they were the ones in your place? Can they survive your daily struggles?
The fear that comes along with failing is my biggest nightmare and I can happily share with you how I managed to stand up and get back in the game.
I’ve been through a lot, and by a lot, it means I’ve been through many mud holes before to the point that I thought I’m about to give up on life. But my Father never let that happen to me. He moved mountains to the path I was about to take. He pulled me up when I was sinking in the sea of my sorrows. My God proved me that He is bigger that my problems and all I can do is to keep going and hold on to His promises.
Now looking back to my old self, it made me realize that there is really an answer to all of my questions. A strong woman knows that being strong is not an option for her, it’s a necessity; And sometimes, the only right answer is a spiritual one.
“He remembers his covenant forever, the promise he made, for a thousand generations.” 1 Chronicles 16:15 NIV
SOURCES:
• Reflections of A Man – Mr. Amari Soul (2015)
• The Holy Bible 1 Chronicles 16:15 New International Version
A Slice of Life 